A Journey Into Utter Madness And Hopeless Despair
Roughly six or seven years ago, I was contacted by a woman who was in obvious emotional distress, on the verge of collapse, claiming she was being gangstalked. Up until this moment, I'd never heard the term gangstalking but when I looked it up, I was introduced to a bizarrely malformed world of tens of thousands of people around the world who claim to be the victims of government sponsored electronic harassment, a conspiracy, they claim.
I was intrigued, to say the least, curious as to how all of these seemingly unrelated people could manage to concoct such dark, dystopic world for themselves, their existences and consciousness burning in an Orwellian obsessed nightmare.
All these people must be crazy, I'd intially thought. This woman contacting me surely must be in need of some form of mental health help. But there was something about her story, something about the way she spoke to me, that made me want to at least take the time to look into her allegations and see if their was any truth to what she was saying.
She told me that late one night she had been clicking around YouTube, subscribing to channels, half asleep. At some point she'd come across a YouTube account called Nordic Cave Resistance, subcribed and thought nothing of it.
It was only a few days later when the harassment began. A YouTube account called LesterClaypool1 had gone to her social media accounts, stole photos of her child, and posted them all over the internet, trying to psychologically terrorize her.
Rather than assume she had become the victim of a cyber stalker, she became convinced that the government was after her. She'd gone to her relatives, in a moment of desperation, trying to explain what was happening to her, but no one believed her.
By the time she'd contacted me, she was at her wits end, telling me that she was on the verge of suicide because no one, not even the police, would help her. She'd filed complaints with the FBI's IC3, but they never wrote back and no one contacted her about her complaint.
Choosing to not automatically assume she was out of her ever-loving mind - because who isn't? - I wanted to know if any part of her demented story was true. What I didn't know at the time was that I was about to fall down a surprise-you're-dead rabbit hole, into a grimy, dilapidated wonderland of online abuse and utter insanty that would eventually almost kill me.
When I looked up the Nordic Cave Resistance account, I found it listed on a website called Stormfront.org, a popular online cabal of neo-nazis, white supremacists, and Alt-right white genocide conspiracy theorists. Stormfront.org, one might remember, has been the home to numerous mass shooters, like the man who shot up the Sikh temple in Wisconsin, and Dylan Roof.
The post said that the Nordic Cave Resistance account was an "anti-free speech channel," or what amounts to neo-nazi code for what we now know, today, as Antifa, used to supress the voice of neo-nazis.
This was the year 2012, though, and the world had not been introduced to the concept of Anti-fascism, which has many fringe factions, like S.H.A.R.P., or Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice, a large international group of people who dress like skinheads but oppose the racist agenda of traditional fascist ideology.
Another online blog lists Nordic Cave Resistance as "...a You Tube group of anti-racist/anti-Nazi/anti-bigotry activists that hold the line against the onslaught of idiots, prats, gimps, fools, trolls and basically Neanderthal knuckle dragging throwbacks."
From what I had been able to gather, after a month of research and goading these mindless morons into admitting their own guilt, that Nordic Cave Resistance was a group of six grown men, who had monkies for profile pictures, that were going around YouTube posting the word "pooping" all over racist YouTube videos, until one of the members of the group changed the name to NCR and began using the group as a front for something called "counter neo-nazi cyber stalking."
Eventually, the group's own infighting had fractured their "online social club," as one member would call it, a saga that is played out when one Google's the term Nordic Cave Resistance, in quotes.
I learned that a key figure in this group was an account called "LesterClaypool1," which is served by the Lesterclaypoolmail@gmail.com account and owned by a man named Jerry Chevalier, located in Sarnia, Ontario, just over the border from Detroit, a self avowed anti-fascist.
It was around this time that I started posting on social media about what I was learned, when I was contact by a woman named Ayla Ryan, offering me a place to crash.
I was financially struggling, working on my 2013 documentary Blame Reagan - a first person gonzo film about homelessness, where I lived on the street to eventually make the first ever first-person film about homelesness in film history - and in desperate need of a place to sleep.
Ayla's offer was much appreicated but I had turned it down because she was sending me messages about her husband making bombs, as she bragged to me about "being kicked in the head by neo-nazis." Her Facebook profile, listed under the name Pip Tighler, claimed that now that she was a mother she missed all the "nazi baiting," refering to how she would portery herself to be a vulnerable woman, wearing relgeous head dress, that would attempt to neo-nazis into her "counter neo-nazi cyber stalking" trap.
Ayla was scary. Every red-flag imaginable was raised while talking to her, to the point that I was actually wondering that she had planned for me, once she lured me into the desert of New Mexico, where she lived.
Imagine my shock, in the middle of talking to Ayla when I was contacted on YouTube by the LesterClaypool1 account, the very account I had been investigating.
I was told that it was going to become my biggest superfan for "stalking a young woman in New Mexico," a woman who later turned out to be Ayla Ryan, herself, as she claimed she had no idea who it was that was contacting me and threatening me.
Almost immediately, I was under attack. Dozens of messages were sent to my mother, telling her I was having a schizophrenic break from reality and that she needed to help make sure I was institutionalized.
Considering that the United States closed down its institution system in the early 1980's and there was no mechanism for which my mother could have me institutionalized, the messages served no other purpose than to begin the process of severing my from my support network, which at the time, consisted solely of my mother.
Not long after this, I was sent a message by the Lesterclaypoolmail@gmail.com account with my father's phone number listed, with the message, "Your move, Matt."
My father and I had not spoken in ten years, as he was vicously abusive towards my mother and I. In spite of this, LesterClaypool1 claimed, in a blog post, that it had called my father on the phone. Caught in a drunken stupor, my father then proceeded to hand them years of the exact same abuse that he'd levied upon me as a child.
Using blogs, and search engine optimazation, they began filling the internet with my father's abuse. When I called my father to ask him if he had actually talked to them, he was obliterated drunk.
My own father started screaming the words of a man named Peter John Ross at me, calling me a "con-man and scammer." In an interview later conducted by Ross, he directly admitted that he is connected to this group of people. After that, I never spoke to my father again. He died last year.
Due to my own poor financial situation, I was legitimately homeless during the making of Blame Reagan. Ross stated, "He was posing as homeless," but I wasn't. Only three days into making the film, I'd been robbed by a homeless person, leaving me legitimately homeless.
A few days after the robbery, I was federally registered as a homeless person. Over the next 18 months, as I would attempt to find a home, people would look me up, repeat my father's abusive words and then tell me I could not rent from them, sending me back to living in the street.
In the most random series of events that has ever happened in my life, my homelessness, my status as a disabled person, and the fact that I was not in the state where my ID was listed, the only option I had to get housed was to rent couches from people on Craigslist.
Once Ayla, Ross, and "Lester" started filling the internet with blogs about me, it completely prevented me from being able to rent rooms or couches from people. And for the next six months of my life, no matter what I did, I could not get off the street, as the Lesterclaypoolmail@gmail.com was sending me thousands of harassing messages.
Now trapped inside the very dystopic world that the woman who introduced me to Nordic Cave Resistance had been living in, I vowed to stay in their world, in the interest of exposing the sordid underbelly of anti-fascist cyber terrorist efforts and to crack the code of gangstalking.
My support network was being slowly severed from me, the police would not help me, the FBI did not respond, and my repeated attempts to take the subject to media outlets all over the country led to nothing, no assistance, just as the woman had described to me. She was telling a despicable truth, I'd discovered.
The Lesterclaypoolmail@gmail.com account was sending me the most deranged messages, telling me I had gotten too close to the truth. I'd located comments on the internet made by the account claiming the "CIA invented gang stalking to reign in mentally ill people."
The account and everyone associated with it were working overtime trying to convince me that I was being targeted by the CIA, which made no sense, because the CIA is a foreign intelligence agency.
If I'd had actually had any form of schizophrenia, I would have become convinced that I was now a gangstalking victim.
All of this led to an interesting revelation, that behind all of these tens of thousands of gangstalking victims claims of harassment, there may be a shred of truth, in that because of the completely unhinged nature of the allegations of the existence of gangstalking, it would create a grey area, where a group of people could gangstalk a person - while not being connected to the government - and the victim would sound completely off their rocker for talking about it.
Sometimes people can do something so crazy to another human being that if their victim talks about it, they sound crazy themselves.
If I had actually been schizophrenic, I would have bought up everything they said to me; I would have become convinced I was a victim of government harassment, or gangstalking. I realised that if this group used these tactics on schizophenic people, it could cause them great distress, or worse, cause them to snap and commit violence against themelves or others.
Interestingly, posts remain on the internet, to this day, stating that it was email@example.com's wife that stalked Luka Magnotta, using the exact same tactics, which eventually may have caused him to snap and dismember an Asian exchanged student, in Canada.
After mailing the student's head to Canadian parliment, an international manhunt had taken place, Magnotta was located, and eventially placed in prison, as his own blogs detailed out how he had endured the exact same type of harassment that so many others were claiming, including myself.
This led me to coin the term internet serial killer, or a type of online predator, not unlike the person who had tareted Amanda Todd, who uses the internet to psychologically torture people until they snap and commit suicide. The internet has bred every other type of online characater, why wouldn't it also birth an online Dennis Rader, or two?
During the 18 month production cycle for Blame Reagan, I had endured six hospitalizations for internal infections, almost dying, desperately begging every human being I could possibly find, to help me.
Over this time, being abused 365 days a year, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, I started to delve into madness, slowly becoming conviced I was going to die in the street, as Lesterclaypool1 told it was going to stalk me until I either committed suicide or became the next mass gun shooter.
Frankly, I was terrified because this account was listed on Stormfront.org, an origin site for several mass gun shooters. This was a group that was targting mentally ill people, psychologically torturing them, causing them to snap, and then using the resulting incident to support their own claims that they were being harassed by their victim or that their victim was schizophenic and imaging everything that was happening to them, a form of gaslighting.
If one looks into Antifa, that's the exact same tactics they use at neo-nazi rallies, working to incite their opponents into committing violence, acts they can then use as pro-Antifa propaganda, much like what happened in Charlotteville. An online blog can be just as effective at triggering violence as a real world hurled jug of piss.
I have no doubt in my mind that these online vigilante groups that are targting mentally ill people have been the cause of several mass murders.
After speaking with Commander Schoep, leader of the National Socialist Movement, he told me that often times mentally ill people and others that couldn't fit to into society, who weren't necessarly neo-nazis, would become involved in white supremacy because it was a group where these social outcasts could find acceptance, rather than the day to day ostricization these people were experiencing in the real world.
Schoep told me that Antifa would target these members and work to psychologically torture them, hoping to cause them to snap, hence the warning on Stormfront.org to block these "anti-free speech" accounts.
It was somewhere around the time of my conversation with him that I'd become convinced that I had somehow gotten dragged into the single most ridiculous series of events one could possibly imagine, to the point where I didn't even believe my own story. For, how in the world could any of this that I was witnessing possibly be real?
How fucked is our world which has bred an entire alternate reality for masses of citizens, where as an everyday ordinary gas station attendent was now a covert member of Antifa, filling up people's gas tanks, selling processed beef sticks, and fighting a seething online war against an equally insane group of other jerky selling gas station attendents who were living a fantasy of exterminating anyone that happens to have been unlucky enough to have been born brown?
In spite of the intense harassment I was experiencing, I managed to complete Blame Reagan and released it on Distrify Media Video-On-Demand, which I thought would put an end to the ongoing internet conspiracy theory, proliferated by Peter John Ross and others, that I wasn't a fimmaker but a homeless, schizophrenic con-man.
Instead of going away, they doubled down, because in this moment, they realised I wasn't schizophrenic and all they had done was target a documentary filmmaker who had clearly demonstrated the ability to expose them for what they were.
What I surmise is that Ross had used his reputability as a filmmaker to convince everyone involved that I wasn't a filmmaker myself, telling everyone involved that I had not created a solicited pilot for Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, in 2011, that my documentary was a figment of my imagination, giving people the confidence to attack me without fear of consequences.
Only a few weeks after the release of Blame Reagan, in spite of the best efforts of LesterClaypool1, I was rescued from the street by a Google engineer named Alex Hwang, who then invested in my career and is my business partner to this very day.
Alex was the only human being I had met who actually gave me the benefit of the doubt, did not judge me, and took me under his wing. And, over the last so many years, he's also witnessed all of this and has been similarly targeted, even while working as an engineer at Facebook, after he left Google.
Only six months after the release of Blame Reagan, I'd experienced a bubble of success in my film career, prompty landing myself on tour - making a music video - with then current Grammy Nominee Jordan Rudess, of the legendary progressive band, Dream Theater.
Once filming of the music video I was making for him was completed, I flew to Las Vegas and then took a Megabus to LA, to stay at a hostel I had been living in, on and off, for almost a year.
When I arrived back at the hostel, one of the employees went off on me, which caused me to leave the hostel and ask for my money back. Instead of giving me my money back, I was contacted by a man named Ernest Halcon. He claimed to work for the LA County DA's Office and later turned out to be a retired FBI agent.
Wondering who the hell this was that contacted me, I looked him up and found the most strange posts, listing his e-mail address as a word that would "trigger NSA monitoring," a neat parlor trick used to make his victims think they were being monitored by the NSA and being harassed by the government.
Disturbed by this outcome, I published an article about what would happened when one Googled Halcon's name. But, after I published, all of this information disappeared from Google and was replaced by news articles talking about Halcon's connection to Gary Webb, the journalist who had investigated how the CIA had used crack-cociane distribution to fund foreign wars and was later found dead after shooting himself in the head twice.
The fact that Halcon had sent me messages offering to help me commit suicide was not lost on me. Halcon would later turn out to be a very active member of this group I was fighting.
A few months prior to releasing the music video for Jordan Rudess, I'd released another film called Poison in the Grapes, about the corruption at the Region 5 EPA that would later lead to the Flint Water Crisis. This very same group of people had worked to destroy that cause, which eventually amounted to nothing more than stopping my efforts to stop the Flint Water Crisis from happening.
Over the next year, this group, led by LesterClaypool1, would follow me around the country, wrecking everything I touched, regardless of who was hurt in the process.
They destroyed everything from cancer cluster education campaigns, attempts to save babies being burned by the bad water in Barstow, and they can be found bragging, to this day, about how the demolished my film, Death Water, about the 1,300+ Superfund toxic waste sites in the United States. No victim was spared in their efforts to discredit me.
Some time around 2015, I was forwarded a series of e-mails from the firstname.lastname@example.org account. Someone had hacked them.
I do not know who pulled off this hack, but the list of names that poured out of this account that was used for anti-fascist activites was nothing less than disturbing. The names Peter John Ross, Micah Jenkins, and Ernest Halcon were featured prominently. Most interestingly, the name Diane Dimond was found to be associated with this account.
All throughout 2014, Diane Dimond, who was the Court TV reporter who exposed the Michael Jackson child molestation allegations, had been publishing false news articles about me, on Creators.com.
In the e-mail leak, it was revealed that she was taking this false news article and sending it to journalists where I was fighting causes, but more disturbing, she was now directly linked to the Lesterclaypool1 account, as was everyone else.
In the begining, my efforts had been to expose the identity of LesterClaypool1, simply because it was using people's children as targets. As far as the neo-nazi/Antifa debate, I have no dog in that fight, other than having no respect for neo-nazis.
Eventually, they began targeting my own children, calling my then minor child a "drug addict," continually branding me as a "deadbeat dad" even though I was paying child support for my son.
Over the course of the next 5 years after they found me on the internet, they've published tens of thousands of posts, using a complex search engine optimzation campaign. A large percentage of their blogs have been taken down by Wordpress for everything from posting my social security number to threatening to "slit my throat" and "chop off [my] hands" so the "cops can't identify the body."
They've harassed every human being that has entered my life, leaving me completely severed from my original film career, my friends, and my family.
What started as an investigative journalism project, led to me being completely dominated by the group I was investigating.
I've learned one fact; that the subject of gangstalking is not so cut and dry, that not every person who claims they are being attacked is crazy, and that my own life serves as a shining example of the kinds of people on the internet who are working to proliferate the myth of gangstalking, sureptitiously operating in the darkest corners of the web, that some of these people are direclty linked to numerous murders and mass shootings and that at least one of them is a former US intelligence official.
The only thing I could do, over the last six years, was to continually lull them into a false sense of security, cause them to dox themselves, which they readily did, once they became convinced they'd completely elimiated my credibility, saying, "Who could belive you?", the same phrase predators often use on children who are victims of child molestation.
Today, what started out as NCR, and an entirely different group of people, is now called MBVR, featuring the same exact content, the same tactics, only now, they are no longer hiding their faces. MBVR features all the same characters I'd encountered over the previous several years, but with them branded as victims of my abuse.
Hiding within MBVR's ranks, you find the same names, Peter John Ross, Ernest Halcon, Diane Dimond, and a few new ones like, most hilariously, Bob Bowock, Erin Brockovich's water guy, who was roped into their scam, with no idea what he was getting himself involved in. Bob's a moron.
MBVR has posted a web of interviews about me. Within those interviews, an astute listener will find repeated admissions that this not so tall tale I am telling is true. Yet, no matter what I have done, even though I have now lost multiple homes and almost my entire career, no journalists has ever written back to me, after thousands of attempts to reach out to them, provding a shining example of how truly corrupt our national and local media outlets truly are.
I can only assume that in spite of the volumes of evidence I have collected, they read my statement and say, "This guy is obviously crazy," or what amounts to nothing more than discrimination.
All I can do, at this point, is get my story out there, show my evidence and hopefully someone will recue me from this project I mistakenly involved myself in, one which has deconstructed my entire life and left me now living in my own Orwellian world of decaying reality, but humorously, is completely visible to anyone who takes the time to look beyond their web of lies and treasonous treachery.
Hopefully, I can get justice for all of the peripheral victims of this type of online abuse. Hopefully, my story can be used to help families and victims of this type of harassment understand how to beat it and not allow these internet terrorists to devour their lives.
Hopefully, there will be an end.